General Moose - A History

 

 

    I started out in the club in the AoS.  As is sometimes usual....things were a little boring at the army tavern.  Then one day this snot nosed Lt. came along....his name is Ned Simms.  This kid (He! He!) started posting at the tavern these wild stories including those about this huge, hairy mass of a woman named Miss Lulu.  I took up the challenge.  We started feeding on each other's stories....getting wilder and wilder.

 

    One day the Rebs raided our little world....not much unlike the raid that they did to Rosie's just before Christmas.  Along came this AoS brass type from Canada named Jeff Bangma.  The Rebs threatened to take his mount....a moose of course....and turn him into steaks.  Hence the moose was born.

 

    Oh Miss Lulu....what can I say about her?  Every time I turned around, Ned had her as my girlfriend and sweetheart.  One day he had her searching me out as she wanted to wrap her tree trunks (legs) around me and smother me (literally) with her love.  Not wanting to die....I ran out of the tavern...flying past the pickets....riding the moose backwards and screaming for my mother.

 

    A couple of days later I came riding back into the camp....again flying past the pickets... I was standing on the moose's back...the reins in my teeth...a saber in one hand and a pistol in the other...I had mastered the moose (or did he master me?).

 

    Our army commander at the time was poor Gen. Walters.  He said that Ned and I were turning the tavern into a circus.  It was then that I gave the moose a field promotion to general...in honor of Gen. Walters.  From that day on, Gen. Moose was my virtual side-kick in the club.

 

    As time went on the stories got wilder and wilder.  Gen. Moose got a girlfriend...her name was Natasha (of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame).  Gen. Moose and I were always being sent to the stockade for our antics.  Gen Moose looked forward to this as all he wanted to do was watch Rocky and Bullwinkle re-runs so he could see the love of his life.

 

    Gen. Moose has one bad habit...he loves to eat hairpieces.  Gen. Blackburn of the AoS can attest to this fact as he could not keep a hairpiece in his tent.  Gen. Moose can be a very sneaky moose when he wants to be.

 

    Then one day....this crusty old corps commander (Don Golen) and I started talking about the AoP.  One thing led to another and I decided to request a transfer.  Gen. Golen's first act when I arrived was to provide me an avatar of Gen. Moose.  It's all Don's fault...do not let him tell you any different.

 

    Not too long ago...this Canadian shows up at the steps of the AoP...begging to be let in because he missed his moose soooooooooooo much...Gen. Bangma also transferred to the AoP.  Gen. Moose's daddy was back.  I have figured out that there are three things I cannot possibly get away from in this club: Gen. Moose, Lulu, and Bangma.  Think about it.

 

    Many things have happened but a few things will always remain.  Gen Moose will always be my side-kick in the club...Gen. Moose will always love Natasha....we will spend more time in the stockade than the resident rats...and the club will always be our home away from home.

 

    Some advice:  If you have any hairpieces lying around...HIDE THEM!!!  If the ground around you starts to shake and rumble...RUN FOR YOUR LIFE...Miss Lulu is approaching.  And don't get sent to the stockade unless you like watching Natasha re-runs...over...and over...and over...and over.

 

    Stay tuned to the continuing saga of Gen. Moose and myself...and yes...Miss Lulu.

 

Notso